Thursday 30 July 2009

Joe's Operation Day - 1st April 09

Early on the Wednesday morning, Phil's mobile rang. It was the PICU (intensive care) nurse to say that Joe's operation had been brought forward, so he will be going to theatre at about 9am.

I remember thinking that it was only just over an hour away.. my heart thumping. I was not sure that I could cope with this. We got dressed and went down to the ward to see him. The nurse was getting him ready to go to theatre. She had put cling film over the top of his bed to keep him warm.. which i thought was a bit strange when he had a heater, but I was not going to question what she was doing.

She explained that when the theatre staff for ready for Joe, they would come and get him, and that we could walk as far as the lift with him. Next thing I know, they had come to get him. I did not know whether to laugh, cry or scream.

We walked down the corridor with Joe, I remember Phil holding my hand really tight. We got as far as the lift, and we both gave Joe a kiss. I burst into tears. I was petrified! All that kept going through my mind was that this could be the last time that I see Joe alive. The nurse cuddled me and said that Joe would be OK and that she would ring us as soon as he was back from theatre and they had got him settled.

We knew that the operation would take about 5 hours, so we decided to head back to Leicester to get some more clothes. I think we both wanted to keep busy. I don't remember anything about being back in Leicester, and I don't even remember the drive back to Birmingham.

The next thing I remember is sitting in our room at the hospital. The 5 hours were up.. we fell asleep, both holding our mobiles. We were asleep for about an hour. When I woke up, I remember thinking that something must have gone wrong, as Joe had been in surgery longer than expected, but was also tyring to convince myself that no news was good news.

Just after 8 hours, the phone rang to say that Joe was back from theatre and that we could go and see him in about 15 minutes. We headed back downstairs to the ward... I remember feeling a sense of huge relief that Joe had made it through the operation, and the nurse saying that Joe looked OK.

The next thing I remember is his surgeon coming to speak to us. He explained why the surgery had taken so long. Joe had another cardiac arrest when they went to put him on the heart and lung machine, and he had also lost a lot of blood and had to have a blood transfusion. He also explained that Joe was still very poorly, and could not guarantee that the cardiac arrest had not caused any more damage. In a nutshell, the next 24-48 hours were vital.

After hearing this, and seeing that Joe appeared to be settled, we decided to go and get something to eat. The restaurant was downstairs in the basement of the hospital. Neither of thought to check that we had a mobile signal. After we had eaten, we headed back to Joe. Phil had got an message on his phone requesting that he contacts intensive care. Phil called them, and told them that we were on our way back.

As we walked into the intensive care unit, I saw the woman on the front desk shout something over to where Joe was, and the next thing we saw was the ward sister come and meet us. My heart was pounding. She stopped us and explained that Joe had had another cardiac arrest. I remember bursting into tears and feeling really dizzy. For a brief moment, I thought that we had done the wrong thing putting Joe through the operation. When I looked over to where Joe was laying, the curtains were drawn round his bed. She explained that they had to open his chest again to massage his heart. She got us a couple of chairs, and someone made us a cup of tea. I remember holding Phil's hand, not wanting to let go. I could not believe that this was happening.

The nurse came over and explained what they were currently doing. She explained that luckily, everyone (his surgeon, etc) had been round Joe's bed on the rounds when Joe's heart had failed. I remember looking over to Joe's bed space and seeing blood on the floor. I wanted to make someone clear it up as I knew it was Joe's blood and I didn't want to see it. My head was spinning!

Shortly after, Joe's surgeon came over and explained again that Joe had had another cardiac arrest, so they have put a stent in his ribs to keep them open to give his heart some room, and that they will see how he goes over the next 48 hours before they decide when to close his ribs. This meant that his chest would remain open for a few days more, as they did not want to close his chest when they had out his ribs back together in case something else went wrong.

Then, one of the intensive care doctors came over to talk to us. Again, she explained what had happened and that she was not hopeful that Joe would make it through the night without having another cardiac arrest. In all honesty, I wanted to scream at her.. This was the last thing that I wanted to hear, although looking back, I realise now that she was just being honest and up front, which is what we had asked them to be.

I remember hearing Joe's surgeon saying Thank you to the nurse, and saying what a good job she had done. I was pleased about this, and she was too as she had a huge smile on her face. She ended up working from 8am to 9pm, as she did not want to leave Joe until she knew that everything was OK.

When we were able to see Joe again, all I wanted to do was make him better, I would have done anything to swap places with him, to take away any pain that he was feeling. I could not understand how something so little could deal with all this. People tried to reassure me that he wasn't in any pain, and that babies are very strong, but at the time, I didn't believe them

I remember ringing my mum to say what had happened, but that's all I really remember from that day, apart from going to bed and not wanting to sleep in case anything happened. I remember laying in bed thinking that if anything else does happen, and Joe has another cardiac arrest, then enough is enough.


This is Joe before his operation. The nurse had to put a line into a vein in his head as they were
struggling to get into veins in his legs and arms.
This is Joe's bed space. Phil was not able to fit the ventilator into the picture. The machines on the left hand side of the picture are the different
medications helping to keep Joe alive.
This was taken just after Joe's operation.
This was taken just after Joe's 4Th cardiac arrest after his operation. He looked really grey.

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